On emptiness, burnout, and dread

I fear being empty of creativity and curiosity. For me, this is the root of procrastination. If I never finish the work that truly matters, I won’t have to face the angels and demons deep within myself. So, I stay on the surface. I fill my days with easy wins. I become the rock that eternally skips on the surface of the water, praying that I never lose momentum so I don’t sink into the depths of the unknown.

The longer I hold out, the deeper the emptiness becomes, resulting in burnout. I don’t believe burnout results from working too hard, having too many interests, dreams, or creative projects. It happens because I’m spending too much time avoiding the calling, the intuition, and the visions of my soul. Burnout is a spiritual issue; I’m deaf to the whispers and the shouts that emerge from the unknown within.

The longer I fear the emptiness within, the stronger the fear becomes. Avoiding the unknown because I’m afraid of discovering my “True Self” (as written about by Richard Rohr) magnifies the perception and magnitude of the emptiness. Hard decisions that matter long after I am gone become the decaying echoes of a long-forgotten note.

As the echoes fade into silence, the monster of dread emerges and devours my life. But it doesn’t have to be this way.

While the journey from emptiness to dread passes through the land of burnout, it is not my destiny. I can choose a different path. I can choose to walk through fear into the unknown. I can enter into the emptiness. I can see what lives on the other side of silent whispers. I can see that the void is not a monster but a sanctuary—a healing place.